One out of Five stars
Running time: 100 mins

Dreadful British thriller with a tedious script, irritating characters, amateurish performances and a surprising lack of anything resembling action or thrills.

What's it all about?
Supposedly a prequel to the little-seen Jack Says (2008), Jack Said is based on the graphic novel by Paul Tanter and stars Simon Phillips as undercover police officer Jack Adleth, who has infiltrated a powerful criminal gang led by the notorious Guv'nor (Mike Reid, in archive footage) and his psychotic daughter Natalie (Ashlie Walker). Jack has managed to climb the ranks thanks to his growing friendship with gang member Nathan (Danny Dyer), but when Nathan rips off the Guv'nor and skips town, Jack finds himself in a whole heap of trouble.

To complicate things still further, Jack finds himself falling for Nathan's sister Erin (Rita Ramnani). Meanwhile, the scheming Natalie has ambitions of her own and attempts to recruit Jack in an attempt to overthrow her father and take over the gang.

The Bad
Jack Said has just one thing going for it: a nicely shot, graphic-novel-style opening credits sequence that's deliberately reminiscent of Sin City (i.e. it completely rips it off). Sadly, the rest of the film is utterly dreadful, even by the already poor standards of low-budget British gangster flicks, thanks to a needlessly convoluted plot, tedious dialogue and poor direction.

The film's biggest problem is Simon Phillips, who's something of a charisma-free zone as Jack and a terrible actor to boot; if the constant switching between a supposedly hard-boiled tough voice when he's posing as a criminal and a weirdly high-pitched normal voice when he's a cop is deliberate, then it's a decision that backfires spectacularly, as it renders most of his dialogue scenes unintentionally laughable.

The Worst
That said, Phillips is surrounded by an equally terrible supporting cast, most notably Ashlie Walker as Natalie. Even Danny Dyer looks like he knows he's onto a loser with this one – he does the bare minimum with his performance and then completely disappears for most of the film.

Worth seeing?
In short, Jack Said can be safely avoided, although if you're really desperate to see it, the DVD will be out in about a week's time.